Big Brother Premiere Recap: Eight Is the Loneliest Number

Big Brother, you're such a tease.

As opposed to commence the June through August timeframe staple's sixteenth season with a presentation of every one of the 16 houseguests, CBS rather decided to gap the debut into two nights, committing every hour to eight hopefuls at once.

Yet before the hour's over, it appears that just gathering 50% of this current summer's characters was generally advantageous, as the first cluster may have been one of the loudest and wackiest in BB history. (Not to be befuddled with the most extremist and biased gathering, a title that last year's thrown keeps on holding. Well done!)

Before we audit the better purposes of Big Brother 16's opening hour, we should meet the first gathering of candidates, every one touting a superlative:

Destined to START A SHOWMANCE: PAOLA

Young lady couldn't overcome a sentence without specifying the extent to which she needed to maltreat individual housemate Cody. "We were this nearby prior," she whimpers in the Diary Room. Beguiling. Other remarkable identity characteristics: Counting on her fingers, abuse of the statement "like."

Destined to BE A DARK HORSE: DONNY

The school maintenance man — who could undoubtedly pass for a Duck Dynasty cast part — appears neglectful of what's happening around him, however he's truly a superfan who's seen each scene of each season. Watch out for this one, Hgs!

Destined to BE VOTED OUT UNANIMOUSLY: FRANKIE

Being Ariana Grande's relative in a split second makes the Youtube identity a target, yet even without offering that goody, Frankie obliges everyone's eyes on him at all times. On the off chance that and when Frankie is ever expelled, I envision alternate houseguests will happily be revealing to him the entryway.

Destined to FLOAT: AMBER

Despite the fact that the (stunningly wonderful) model inclines toward the ladies of the house, she appears the sort to make companions with anybody, while never making any strong moves.

Destined to CAUSE A STIR: JOEY

No, its not the cosmetics craftsman's blue hair that makes her a shoo-in for contention. It's presumably her super-liberal, "Left wing is the best wing" stance that will make her go against her kindred housemates.

Destined to PLAY BOTH SIDES: CODY

The previous star soccer player has some experience playing the field, and it would appear that he'll be putting it to great use in the house this hot time of year. In any case I do like a contender who can play up his soccer aptitudes at the stature of World Cup madness. Smooth move, Cody.

Well on the way to TRIUMPH IN COMPETITIONS: DEVIN

No, its not on the grounds that he's tore! … . Fine, yes, this is on account of he's tore. Yet Devin, who refers to his adoration for his 2-year-old girl as the reason he'll win Big Brother, likewise appears to be canny and computing.

Well on the way to FLY UNDER THE RADAR: NICOLE

She's a gifted nursing understudy — who looks precisely like Taylor Swift around the "You Belong With Me" music feature — and focused around her Diary Room confession booths, she has no enthusiasm toward unsettling quills this sunny season.

Just a couple of hours pass by in the house before these eight challengers are plotting, and they consent to stay by one another's side significantly after the second gathering of candidates goes along with them. (Ha! How sweet.) They name their new cooperation the "Insane Eights," and its a really lovable incredible sight — until minutes after the fact, when two sub-unions structure. On the fellows' side, Donny trusts to Devin that he's seen each scene ever of the show, which is everything Devin needs to believe the man, and they structure the "Twofold Ds." For the women, its the ideal time to structure a no-young men permitted union, and the four name themselves "El Cuatro." And poor, sweet Nicole admits that she has no clue what "El Cuatro" implies in English. This is going to be a fun summer.

Julie Chen — looking brilliant as dependably — calls the Hgs to the patio, where they contend in the first Head of Household rivalry of the season. The perseverance challenge, which obliges candidates to stay upright on a pivoting log, descends to Amber and Frankie, however Frankie is a definitive victor after Amber (sagaciously) tosses the occasion. Resembles your Hoh room won't have any family photographs, Frankie!

Later, Julie illuminates the Hgs that there will be two Heads of Household this season — however before each week's over, stand out will be left standing. As an extra bend (to which the hopefuls aren't privy), viewers at home will have the capacity to make a mystery cooperation called Team America, whose three parts will do undercover missions all through the mid year. The primary part of Team America is… . going to be uncovered Thursday night. Again with the teasing!